Howdy folks, Hope you all are having a glorious weekend.
Short update before I move on to my actual content :
I have started working now, as an actual full blown ass lawyer/solicitor/attorney. Phew, time passes so fast. Looking back at my older postings, full of emotional, clingy ass, self pity/depreciating content, I wish you could unread that. But hell, that was once part of what I was like before, sad, clingy with a tad bit of esteem issues and for a lack of a better word ; pathetic. But hey, if I managed to make it here unharmed then I must be doing something right? right right? hahaha.
Anyhow, the actual content is today, and events thereof are as below :
So my partner and I went to this local banana leaf place for a late lunch around 2.30 to 3.00 p.m after a late night out with friends. A lazy sunday of course, so we got our meals and had a pleasant lunch. As we were seated outside at the side of the road, my partner got up and went in the shop to pay for our meal and I was busy busting the insides of my backpack looking for a missing item "a damn good imitation zippo lighter ; trying to learn a trick or to" when suddenly a worker walked up to me.
He asked me with much hostility "Gemuk apa macam?"
I didn't really understand what he said but I caught a whim and understood that whatever it was, it was insulting and thus I asked him loudly and with my warning voice "You tanya saya apa"
To my surprise he actually repeated "Gemuk apa macam?" and indicated towards me with his jaw.
I understood now that what he was asking was " What is it like to be fat / why am I so fat"
So I asked him "You kurus apa macam? You tak mati lagi ke?"
He smiled and said no and repeated "Gemuk apa macam"
Dude, I get that you're a damn foreign worker, but if you want to insult someone please for the sake of the person you are insulting, get a dictionary/work on your vocabulary.
I told him "Sama macam you, saya makan saya mati, you makan pun you mati? Apa you mau tahu?"
He said "Takda sama" and walked off.
His colleagues who were nearby were also taken aback that he could ask a customer such an insulting question and were unsure if they even heard correctly what he asked me and were discussing amongst themselves in tamil what he said to me (of course they were not aware that i could very well understand what they were talking about). Eventually one of them came up and apologized to me to which I barely nodded.
I was of course taken aback and defensive but I kept whatever it was inside and when my partner came out from the shop (not aware of anything of course) I got up immediately and walked with him to the car. Of course when I told him what had happened,he was eager to go in the shop and beat up the guy which of course I opposed. My partner is not a tiny person and is properly capable of breaking a jaw or three. Neither am I a tiny person, and I personally would be able to take down at least one person on my own.
But I asked myself, was all this worth it? After I hit him then what? Will the fat shaming stop?
Will all the pain that come with such statements go away? Will I feel better about hitting him or better about myself? How can someone be so insensitive? However, I was certain that nothing good could come about if we hit the guy/ told him off/ or have a little "chat" with him. His mentality is just the consequence of shit we see everyday.
Instilled deep inside our culture and many others, fat is ugly, fat is destructive, fat is shameful, fat is disgusting. Every single time you imagine a fat person, you imagine a plate of piled up chips potato bacon fat drenched in butter and cheese and the fat person gorging "itself" - for lack of a better reference. The person has become so deeply disgusting in your mind that you don't consider them a person anymore, they are just a blob of a what-was or has-been.
Let me tell you something, I agree with you, being fat is not healthy. I am trying to lose weight as well. And if a fat person could lose their weight overnight and be a skinny person, they would. 99% would want to. But that doesn't give you the chance to judge them, to hate on them, to make them feel so unworthy that they don't deserve any respect. Fat is just a physical state, not a mental one (there are exceptions to this) . If you judge someone who is fat however, you are the one suffering from some mental issues.So just stop it,
Telling a fat person that they are fat is not helping. They wake up every morning look in the mirror and know that they are fat. It is not something they are unaware of. Friends and family can/should encourage weight loss positively but not by fat shaming. Common asian moms "You fat later no boy want you", "so fat ah, how to buy clothes", "fat already, don't eat some more" " You so fat got people want to date you meh?" "You don't want to diet meh:". Yes, aunty we know. We know all that shit you have listed to us. We face judgement every single day of our life from people we know/ don't know and even people we love.
Fat shaming is so prevalent in Asian countries that sometimes you just feel you don't belong. Honestly, I have never been thin, I never overeat *except during festivals and random groupon buffets*, I workout regularly, heck i was even a state athlete, represented my university/state/ school to various fencing competitions since I was young, swim regularly, go to the gym but I have been this way since forever.. My weight fluctuates but never to the lower end, It has always been within the 90-100 range. I am trying to lose weight, mind you, but by my own time/capability and by listening to my body. Some days I am so tired that I feel like I want to lay flat on the floor and hope I can wake up the next day. So I rest, when I feel slightly better I pick myself up and exercise.
Where we are in life in our weightloss and weightloss goals or just being happy with where we are is definitely our own business, our own lives and our own problems. If you don't like what you see, keep your mouth shut and your thoughts to yourself. Nobody told you how to walk in your own shoes aye?
Leaving people alone to make their own choices and life decisions isn't that hard to do. The least you could do is not judge.
Have a blessed week everybody :)
(P.S I really do hope I make it through the week)
