I believe I may be in the wrong line of work.
I work so lackluster sometimes feeling no joy in my days as I lug my brain through the day.
Feeling as though I am being trapped in this god forsaken field.
People ask "Why don't you open your own law firm?"
"Is it not challenging enough for you?"
I sigh. Because it would seem that I never feel the joy of practicing as I would writing an article.
Don't get me wrong. Every single thing I do challenges the very core of my being. But, I feel so miserable because the job I am doing gives me not one inch of joy or satisfaction. I just feel relieved when my work is fi...wait, it never finishes.
I believe I need to work with a purpose. Doing work for a company that is meaningful and gives back to people. Mega organizations that are capable of giving back to society is great to me.
Working as a team so that everyone carries their own weight.
I seem like a great person for people to push their weight to.
I feel so depressed.
Sometimes I lie down and close my eyes I don't even want to wake up any longer because I have to go in and lug myself around.
The thought of going back to a job I dislike is in itself very stressful. What makes it worse is that the burden of the work never ends. It haunts you even as you sleep.
I also sadly have very little support in the firm. It seems as though I am the only one fighting to stay afloat while people in my department prance around merrily. Mind you, I am not getting one fucking ounce of commision as well. I can't survive
BUT WHO THE FUCK CARES.
But sadly I do not come from a rich family.
I do live paycheck to paycheck.
So for those people who tell me just quit. Well, dear you, fuck you. I need to get another job before I quit.
And I am hoping the next job I have won't be so sad.
